CHAPTER TWO: Unemployment Never Tasted So Sweet

JMcS: Being back in the USA this past month has been great. I've hung out with my family and friends as much as possible. I've finally had time to watch Discovery channel Shark movies projected on the ceiling with my nephews, choreograph cheerleading dances with my nieces, and go on dates to Footloose and and buy cowboy boots with my sisters! Life is good! Although this honeymoon phase at home has been AWESOME, there seems to be an elephant in the room staring at me...with a watch on. Whether you spent the evening working out, picking up shifts at your old summer job or even if you wasted an entire night watching the Sing Off eating cooler ranch doritos (you have no proof that this happened...), the giant elephant sits in the room and waits to tuck me into bed each night. haha He is there to remind you that you are in your mid-twenties...without a permanent full time job...and student loans that could scare a ghost. haha I'm telling you, that elephant bastard is always tapping at that watch at me and at the rate he is growing, he has to be suffering from a severe case of diabetes. As I have been going through all my options on places to move, grad schools, and job opportunities the past few weeks it is wonderful knowing there are others out there in the same boat. One person in particular, my dear friend Jantina is right there with me. She has entertained all my crazy ideas because she, as well, is working through her own craziness. Being homeless and unemployed has never felt so right. Tina emails me job opportunities she thinks I would like (I send less useful ones to her...like prison guard openings at the Penn. I just think it would be funny to watch slender tall Tina fighting off gangs...and she'd probably win), she takes me out to shoot hoops to relieve some stress (or take pictures/videos of me pretending to play- which is better), and has entertained and supported my thoughts of moving to exotic places. Unemployment isn't so bad when Tina is there too. Plus, you learn survival skills like living off little debbie dollar snacks or riding your bike to church meeting and look sweaty because you don't want to use your gas. haha As the wise Tina always tells me, "Jac, these are what we call...Character Building Days". They sure are, Tina. They sure are (whispered)...but who else can say they get to go to Barnes and Noble during the middle of the day just to look at pictures of the London Bridge or to go to matinee movie on a Monday afternoon without taking off work? Not many people can do that.



As I told my interviewer earlier this year, I am easily motivated. Mind you, I was fresh from returning from a 2 1/2 year absence of talking to Americans or living even in the USA, so going right into professional interviews was a stretch. I told the lady about my newest quest in life. I wish Tina was there to have stopped me and encourage me to say what a normal person would say. haha She would have, but it was too late. The interviewer asked, "...for an example of a time I've kept myself motivated." Up into this point, I would dare to say "impressive" would be the word she was thinking while talking to me. ;) I couldn't lead her to believe that for long though. haha The most recent example of self-motivation came to mind so I spoke without thinking, "Have you ever seen Motorcycle Diaries, Mam?" Her response was simple and surprised, "No." I continued on excited to share with her, "Well, in the film two men are going on an adventure traveling from the southern part of South America all the way to the very north...together...on one motorcycle." She looked like she was wondering where this was going, but smiled politely so I continued, "Just from watching that movie, I have decided to do the same. [Her face now showed concern and confusion] I want to get my motorcycle license! AND I want to drive it to the Grand Canyon! I will have a side cart for whomever wishes to join me." The sad thing was that I was serious (and still am so if you are interested please contact me haha). She stayed quiet and with the long pause after my comment I thought she didn't get the underlining message that would obviously, in my mind, leave her begging to hire me. I told her the moral of that story, "I guess not ONLY am I easily motivated, Mam...but I am very goal oriented also." I sat smiling pretty pleased with myself. She thanked me and continued the interview. I didn't get the job. I'm still puzzled why, but this isn't a story of me not getting a job...I share this story to show you how we, Tina and I, got ourselves into buying tickets to Ireland a week and a half ago. As I told that lady in the interview, I am easily motivated! I find cheap running shoes and a swim cap, so I sign up for a triathalon. I meet a Karate cute elderly man instructor at a West Mall Theaters and I find myself a month later with a yellow belt in Karate. I watch watch Dangerous Minds and I want to wear a leather jacket. It's not rocket science. I get excited about things and that's why I find myself with a colorful resume. haha

One day last week, I told Tina about a possible job I found in Ireland. Not so random for ME now that I told you a bit about myself, huh? haha To my defense, though, my family and friends encourage this behavior. No one is innocent for the things I do. Anyways, I had recently watched the movie P.S. I Love You the night before. Easily motivated. The movie made me cry...BUT throughout the film I thought, "I want to go to Ireland. It is beautiful and lush and the people there (based from my research watching the movie) seem very friendly and sweet." I told Tina about the idea. I knew she was also looking for work. I knew she would like the area because she has always been obsessed with Nessie, the Lockness Monster (which is Scotish, but isn't it all the same haha jk). Without the expectation that she would really consider it, within two days Tina sent me a text simply stating, "I would be interested in going to Ireland. Seriously." I about fell over. Tina isn't the one to just get up and leave. She is FUN and willing to explore, but this is leaving the country quick...unemployed...with apartment bills to pay. The fact that she was even considering it was jaw dropping since the last time I talked to her on the phone, she was filing for unemployment. haha The best part was the follow up text, "I would have to leave soon before I get an actual job." Not only is she considering to go to Irelandbut she wants to leave soon? I added some pressure to see if she was serious. I told her we would need to book tickets that weekend so the rates wouldn't go up. :)

Tina needed the night to think about it. Mind you, I just returned from South Africa/Texas/Mexico City/Omaha 3 1/2 weeks ago! I was not planning to leave the country for a while again. I didn't sleep a wink that night wondering how this was even a topic for discussion?!? I don't have a full time job. No home. No car. I haven't been in the US more than 3 months at a time since 2008! Should I be leaving...again?! I worked the next morning that Saturday as a bath aid on an hour of sleep. Maybe bathing people wouldn't be an ideal way to spend a weekend morning, but it was good for me. I was able to keep myself busy waiting for Tina to text me back with her decision. I listened to Mumford and Sons on the radio and even wore a green turtle neck to work that day. I wanted to be mentally ready for Ireland if it came. haha Finally, the text came through..."I really really want to go, BUT..." I knew it. Tina had let "responsibility" win and now she is walking around with a big "but". :) As Pee Wee Herman says, "Everyone I know has a big but..." I was like a balloon, rapidly deflating as I read the message that lacked hope of an Irish excursion. The text continued, "...BUT I am worried about the money situation and a job." I knew it. It was too good to be true. Tina came to her senses. I was bummed because I wanted TINA to go to Ireland and all the better if I got to go with. This type of trip would fit "us" perfectly! Our honeymoon after 21 years of friendship!! Now the idea was like a 4 leaf clover washed away at the Celtic Sea. I texted back hiding my true disappointment. That was my farewell text to the great Irish adventure I had already started forming in my head. Tina was responsible and maybe that is one of the many things I admire about her as she grows up. Maybe it was time for me to settle down, hang up my top hat, and put my bagpipes in the closet.

My spirits were down, but I continued to hide the pain by giving baths to the residents. Who doesn't do that when they are feeling low? haha As I went to turn off my phone, there was a message from Tina waiting, "I didn't say NO, Jaci...I'm saying that I am going to need to start donating plasma to pay for this." Wearing my rubber plastic bathing gloves I threw my hands up. She is going? She is going! My phone died just as I was going to respond in sheer happiness! I gave the resident in the bath tub a high five. She was confused, but smiled and was equally excited without knowing why! The job search isn't going to leave me. The house hunt will still be here when I return. I don't have control over many things, but I do know I am going to Ireland. That night we bought tickets for a 9 day trip to Ireland.



TOD: Ah the bittersweet taste of unemployment. Getting to sleep in but knowing that nagging feeling in the back of your head will be there telling you everyday you need to find a job. See a couple weeks ago I experienced something about as fun as receiving a pap smear from Edward Scissorhands (graphic, I know, but I needed you to understand how unpleasant it is). Because of budget reasons I got laid off from my job. Basically, it was one of those last one in the door- first one out type deals . . . budget reasons. How I translated it was "It's not you, it's me." Like a bad break up I cried, called my friends and family for support, binged on ice cream, went to Borrowed Bucks Roadhouse on a TUESDAY for 2 cent taps and well drinks, and felt sorry myself for a few days. I know I know . . . I wasn't exactly in the running to be crowned 2011's Miss Sunshine. However, I knew that this too shall pass and began my journey to dust myself off and start "rebuilding" by applying for jobs and talking with friends and family. Going to the gym or getting the mail became the highlight of my day. I began watching documentaries about great anomalies like Bigfoot, crop circles, and (as Jaci stated earlier) my personal favorite, Nessie. I never did feel it was right for it to be referenced to as the Lochness "monster." Monster . . . really? I don't know it just seems a bit harsh. What has it ever done to be deserving of such a judgmental title?! Nessie is no more a threat than Pete's Dragon. In fact, I think the two would really hit it off and become friends or who knows even possible lovers. Times they are a changin'. Who are we to say anything really? (And breathe . . . I will now step off my soapbox and continue the story). In addition, I started cooking more and took up a Michael Jackson "Thriller" dance workshop to get my mind off the stress of my situation. I also found the best meal deals around town for the lady on a budget. Little Caesar's $5 meal deal is hard to beat but not hard to eat (it's a rhyme that happens to be true).

Jaci let me know she would be in Sioux Falls applying and interviewing for jobs the following week. Awesome! Someone to hang out with! Jaci was just the medicine that doctors prescribe if you're looking for some optimism. A natural "upper." After our fun weekend in Sioux Falls where we watched movies, pranked a friend, shot hoops, played super nintendo, and made the "more you know videos," I was beginning to feel like my old myself again. Yep, Stella definitely was getting her groove back. About a week later I'm conversing with Jaci and she tells me we should move to Ireland and get jobs. Yeah right. Immediately I'm trying to understand where and how that would even be possible. What kind of job was she planning for us to get out there? I mean working as a Keebler elf baking cookies all day long in a tree sounds exciting, but I highly doubt they would offer a good benefits package or a 401K plan for that matter. But after knowing Jaci as long as I have I have learned to listen and entertain these ideas. At times she follows through with her plans but there are times when they fizzle out like the last sparkler on 4th of July weekend, and I've learned how to decipher the two. At any rate, I will always say yes even if I know these plans will never come to be. In this case that's exactly what I did. Was it a crazy idea not probable of happening? Absolutely. But why not humor the poor girl.


I then began to think of it more and more. Well, I knew that moving there would not be a possibility as I have bills, loans, and a lease. Also, I have the monthly Netflix plan of 7.99 that I wasn't willing to give up. But a vacation? I mean I had been saving up for a vacation for the last year 1/2. And I didn't need to ask for vacation time because I didn't have a job. Could this work? Was this not the perfect time to do it? With all the excitement I told her I would sleep on it and give her my answer the next day. It all started making sense like why Pauly Shore no longer has a career in acting). I texted Jaci and let her know my interest was there, but I needed details if this dream was going to become a heavenly reality full of shamrocks and shenanigans. So I put the pressure on her a bit wanting more information if she was truly serious about it. Surprised by my consideration she put in the work, did her homework and came back with flight rates, places to stay, and hostel rates. Touche' Jaci . . . touche'. That was it. She had called my bluff. This sick, torturous game of intellectual teeter totter had to end. Time to make a decision Tina. So I texted her and let her know my concerns. She replied back with a 2 page text dripping of disappointment and a dash of guilt trip. Little did she know I had not made my decision yet. In my heart I knew she wouldn't expect me to go. But sometimes I like to surprise Little Miss Spontaneous. I texted her back saying "Jaci I didn't say no, but I'm going to have to start donating plasma to pay for this thing." I think I could hear her squealing from over 60 miles away. That was it. We were going.